You probably already tell your husband you love him. But how many ways do you show your husband you love him?
My husband and I have a ritual of holding hands and always telling each other “I love you” just before we go to sleep. But beyond just saying the words you need to put your money where your mouth is and show him how much love him too. No doubt, you want the same from him, but this is a blog for moms, so we’re going to focus on the things you can control.
When my husband and I were first married, we went to a year long intensive discipleship group about marriage. There was a lot of talk about the “love bank.” The concept is that you can either make a deposit in the bank or a withdrawal. In your marriage, you certainly don’t want to be “overdrawn.” The below seven ways to show your husband you love him are things you can do to make deposits in his love bank. The idea is also reciprocal…meaning, the more deposits you make the more he feels compelled to make deposits in yours. So read on and build up those deposits.
7 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him.
1. Send Him Love Notes.
Call me old-fashioned, but I’m preferential to the good old handwritten paper notes. Yes, you can email or text and with today’s technology that’s a fine supplement. But I believe the paper one means more. I used to do this ALL the time when my husband and I were dating. And yes, it has definitely slowed down since kids came along, but I still try to surprise him once in a while with a note. I make up silly poems or just tell him how much I love him. Think about how much you love getting love notes from him. He’s probably equally as excited to get one from you.
2. Compliment Your Husband.
God created man and woman to live in partnership. And we, as women, were meant to be ‘helpers’ to our men. No, that does not mean we are subservient, but it does mean that we should respect him and be an encouragement to him. It’s not easy being a good man in today’s world, so let him know how good he is. Tell him how handsome he is or that you think he’s a good dad. We all want to feel good about ourselves and your husband is no different. He wants to know that you think highly of him and that you respect the man he is.
3. Thank Him.
This goes hand in hand with the compliments somewhat, but your husband wants to feel appreciated for the things he does. So, thank him for providing for your family or for taking out the trash or grilling dinner or picking up the kids prescriptions. It doesn’t matter what it is, he will know that you noticed his contribution. And let’s get real for a moment, when you notice his contributions and thank him (and truly mean it), he may just continue to do that exact thing in hopes of getting more recognition. That’s a good thing.
4. Touch Him.
In case you haven’t figured this out, men are very into all things sensory. Give him a back rub, hold hands or simply touch him as you pass him in the kitchen. Kissing is touching too so do it as often as you can! Chances are he will repay all of your caresses with sweet touches of his own.
5. Take Care of Yourself.
Look, if you knew me you would chuckle a little bit at this. I have a six-month-old baby and feel lucky to shower three times a week!! But at six months I’m coming out of the haze a bit, getting into a routine and realizing I’ve let myself fall by the wayside a little. So I’ve been walking with the kids (have lost 8 pounds so far, yay!), I cut my hair and hey, a couple days a week I have even managed to get on a little makeup (meaning some mascara and a little powder, let’s not get too crazy). But by doing this I’ve realized that I feel better too. And when you feel good about yourself it shines through to everyone around you, including your husband. And that’s attractive!
6. Talk About Your Husband Positively To Others.
I’m not advocating boasting, but you can say nice things about him in front of other people. In fact perhaps the more important note is that you should never talk about him negatively in front of others. My husband and I both have very sarcastic senses of humor so sometimes I can edge close to the line. While this one is a danger zone for me, I’m trying to improve (hopefully my husband would say that too). Verbalizing any negative feelings to anyone other than your husband just isn’t healthy. There is power in our words and that’s a slippery slope you don’t want to start going down. Let’s face it, you know how it feels when he says nice things about you to others, pay him the same respect when you talk about him.
7. Initiate Intimacy.
We all like to be pursued and men are no different. He wants to know that you want him as much as he wants you. So the next time you get an inkling, make the first move. Trust me, it will be worth it.
When you were dating or newly married, you probably took every opportunity to show your husband you love him. But we all get a little lost in the hustle and bustle of the everyday. And the things we used to do for each other during courtship can sometimes fall to the wayside. But just the fact that you’re reading this means you are invested in your marriage. So consider this a refresher that will hopefully add a little spark in your relationship.
If you’re looking for more ways to keep your marriage running strong, check out this blog post on my 9 Tips for a Healthy Marriage After Kids.
Wishing you lots of love and a full “bank”!